I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
