just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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