Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
