her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
