so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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