I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
