just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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