sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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