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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
