You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
