Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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