i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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