My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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