It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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