You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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