hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
