Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
