i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
