I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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