I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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