I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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