Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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