wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize