If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
