I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
