No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
