the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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