I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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