whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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