She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
