OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
