Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
