If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
