I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
