so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
