"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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