only if we run a train.
done.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
