I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
