did you get engaged???
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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