Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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