First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
its not stalking. its research.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
