it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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