i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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