... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
