Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
