Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
