I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
