So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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