Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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