By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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