did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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