If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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