yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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