ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize