I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
