I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Boobs speak an international language.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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