i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
